Sam's Custom Auto Body
 
10001 Lewis Drive
Damascus, Maryland 20872
Phone (301) 253-4900

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Just for Fun!
 
GM
Garbage Motor


FORD
Fix Or Repair Daily

FIAT
Failure In Automotive Technology

KIA
Killed In Action

BMW
Brings Me Women

DODGE
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

ACURA
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CADILLAC
Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions

CAMARO
Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips

CHRYSLER
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair

GMC
God's Mechanical Curse

HONDA
Had One Never Did Again

HYUNDAI
Here's Y U Never Drive An Import

JEEP
Junk Everyone Eventually Piles

JAGUAR
Just A Guess, U Are Rich

MAZDA
Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt

MOPAR
My Old Pig Ain't Running

MERCEDES
My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke

NISSAN
Need I Say Something About Nothing

OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday

PONTIAC
Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap

PORSCHE
Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything

SAAB
Sad Attempt At Beauty

SATURN
Same American Trash Under Revised Name

TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

Feel free to email your acronyms! We add to our site daily.

 
Things You Never Say to a Police Officer
 
- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
- I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.
- Bad cop! No donut!
- You aren't going to check the trunk, are you?
- I pay your salary.
- When the Officer says "Damn, Son...Your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer, your eyes looked glazed. Have you been eating donuts?"
- What exactly is legally drunk?
- So, what's a good bribe go for around here?
- If I were you, I'd let me go Officer.
- 60 mph in a 30 mph zone? Could you put it down as 70 mph? I'm trying to sell the car.
- Sorry Officer. I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
- Aren't you that guy from the Village People?
- Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?
- Wow, Officer. That's wonderful. The last officer only gave me a warning too.

 
True Facts About Cars
 
Did you know...
1.) That yellow is the safest color to see in all weather conditions?
2.) That silver and gray are the worst?
3.) The first automobile racetrack in the U.S. was the Indianapolis Motor Speedway?
4.) The first car ran on steam?
5.) Mary Anderson invented windshield wipers for cars?
6.) In parts of Russia cars and trucks can drive across the ice that covers lakes during the winter?
7.) In 2002 almost one out of every three cars sold in the U.S. were SUVs?
8.) Aluminum wheels are lighter, more impact absorbent and more expensive than steel wheels?
9.) The average North American car includes up to 300 pounds of plastic?
10.) The most popular color for a car in America is silver (refer to #2)?
11.) The word automobile comes from the Greek word 'auto' which means self, and the Latin word 'mobils' which means moving?
12.) The word "car" comes from an ancient Celtic word 'carrus' which means cart or wagon?
13.) Detroit, Michigan, is the largest center of automobile production in the U.S. and it's called "Motor City?"
14.) Incoming calls are responsible for 42% of wireless phone-related crashes?
15.) On the average, the 140 million cars in America are estimated to travel four billion miles per day using 200 million gallons of gasoline doing it?
16.) It would take 20 new cars to generate the same amount of pollution that a car from the 1960's produced?
17.) In 1996 General Motors was the first company to begin selling an all electric car, the EVI?
18.) The first person to win the Indianapolis 500 at a speed of over 100 mph was Billy Arnold who won in 1930?
19.) Toyota is the #1 car in the world driven by women?
20.) In 1924 a Ford automobile cost only $265.00?
21.) Most American car horns beep in the key of F?
22.) The first Ford cars had Dodge engines?
23.) Alcohol is a factor in about one-half of all fatal traffic collisions in America?
24.) The first speeding ticket was issued in 1902?
25.) Soichiro Honda after the Wold War Two with only $3300 he started building motorcycles?

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